The Foundation of Love—Choosing Yourself First

Love is energy, and the way we love ourselves sets the frequency for every relationship in our lives. We are conditioned to believe love is something we receive, something we earn, something that exists outside of us. But the truth is, love is something we become.

When you choose yourself first, you declare to the universe that you are worthy—not someday, not when you’ve “fixed” yourself, but right now. Yet so many struggle to feel that worthiness because they’ve spent their lives seeking validation outside of themselves. A clear indication of looking for love outside yourself is feeling like nothing you do is ever enough.

Do you:

- Feel like you’re constantly proving your worth?

- Crave love but feel unworthy when it arrives?

- Ever question why love feels just out of reach?

It’s time to stop waiting for love and become it—embody it, radiate it, know it as yours. The first step? Looking at yourself with love and appreciation.

Why Are We Not Used to Choosing Ourselves?

For Black women, self-love has never been simple. We have been conditioned to view ourselves through the lens of double consciousness—always aware of how we are perceived, how we might be judged, and how our presence fits into the expectations of others. Instead of being free to simply be, we filter our self-perception through how we assume others see us. This conditioning makes it difficult to prioritize our own needs and desires, keeping us in cycles of external validation rather than true self-acceptance.

We are so used to shaping ourselves for survival, for acceptance, for love that we don’t always realize we’ve never learned how to shape ourselves for ourselves. But real self-love isn’t about meeting expectations—it’s about breaking free from them.

Self-love isn’t just a concept—it’s a vibration. It’s the frequency from which you attract, create, and sustain love in every form. And it’s not something you stumble upon—it’s something you choose.

✨ Reflection: Where in your life have you been waiting for love instead of creating it within yourself?

💫 Next Step: Begin the journey of choosing yourself with my 3 Day Mirror Work Ritual, where I guide you through the exact practices that transform how you see and love yourself.